Above is a scene from Star Crash, Italy’s homage to Star Wars. They dialed the cheese factor up to ten for this entire movie, but it’s especially clear in this scene. At one point, I’m pretty sure the emperor-to-be forgets his line and is looking over to the cue cards for a hint.
Since we are big fans of good storytelling, we couldn’t let something like this go by without looking for other movies that have produced hilarious, overly dramatic or just downright ridiculous lines. Here are just 16 others. We tried to stay clear of B-film schlock territory or the list would have easily broken 100.
THE MOVIE: Ever After (1998)
Danielle: ”A bird may love a fish, signore, but where will they live?”
Note: For such a schlocky line, I have to admit, I still spent some time thinking about it.
THE MOVIE: X-Men (2000)
Storm: ”You know what happens when a toad gets struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.”
Note: A big part of why this is an amazing line is the stone cold determination on Halle Berry’s face as she delivers it. I wonder how many takes it took to get that look.
THE MOVIE: A Cry in the Dark (1988)
Lindy: ”A dingo ate my baby!”
THE MOVIE: Speed (1994)
Jack Traven: “Yea, well I’m taller!”
Note: This is Keanu Reeves finest role that doesn’t involve fighting cybernetic demons or talking to Teddy Bears.
THE MOVIE: The Postman (1997)
Blind Woman: “You’re a godsend, a saviour.”
Postman: “No, I’m a postman.”
THE MOVIE: Notting Hill (1999)
Anna Scott to William Thacker: “I’m just a girl standing in front of a boy asking him to love her.”
THE MOVIE: Con-Air (1997)
Cameron Poe: “Put the bunny in the box…”
Note: If a Bruckheimer movie with Nicolas Cage playing a band southern accent isn’t enough to make you see this film, then scenes like this should be.
THE MOVIE: Pearl Harbor (2001)
Rafe: “You’re so beautiful it hurts.”
Evelyn: “It’s your nose that hurts.”
Rafe: “I think it’s my heart.”
THE MOVIE: Titanic (1997)
Jack Dawson to Rose Bukater: “I’m the king of the world!”
Note: Obvious, sure but this line seems to have won the community choice award for modern movie cheese so we included it.
THE MOVIE: Battlefield Earth (2000)
Chirk: “I am going to make you as happy as a baby Psychlo on a straight diet of kerbango.”
Note: Battlefield Earth was John Travolta’s homage to L. Ron Hubbard. Without Franchise Pictures and a Scientology bake sale it probably would never have been made and the world would have been a better place.
THE MOVIE: Dirty Dancing (1987)
Johnny Castle about Fraces “Baby” Houseman: “Nobody puts Baby in the corner.”
THE MOVIE: Star Wars – Attack of the Clones (2002)
Anakin to Padme: “From the moment I met you, all those years ago, not a day has gone by when I haven’t thought of you. And now that I’m with you again… I’m in agony. The closer I get to you, the worse it gets. The thought of not being with you—I can’t breathe. I’m haunted by the kiss that you should never have given me. My heart is beating, hoping that kiss will not become a scar. You are in my very soul, tormenting me… what can I do? I will do anything you ask.”
THE MOVIE: Batman and Robin (1997)
Mr Freeze: “Ice to see you”
Note: I could have closed my eyes and pointed anywhere in this script and found an equally ridiculous line but this one always seems to stand out.
THE MOVIE: Night of the Lepus (1972)
“Attention! Attention! . . . There is a herd of killer rabbits headed this way and we desperately need your help!”
Note: I know I said we stayed away from B-movies but this is just a reminder to go watch the best film of William Claxton’s (Little House on the Prairie) career.
THE MOVIE: Glen or Glenda (1953)
“Give this man satin undies, a dress, a sweater and a skirt or even a lounging outfit and he’s the happiest individual in the world. He can work better, play better and he can be more of a credit to his community and his government because he is happy.”
THE MOVIE: Mortal Kombat Annihilation (1997)
Kitana: “Mother! You’re alive…”
Sindel: “Too bad…YOU….will die!”
Note: They are starting to shoot a sequel to this movie, Mortal Kombat: Devastation starting this month…
We’ve missed dozens and dozens of great ones, what are your favorite bad movie lines?