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The 17 Cheesiest Lines In Movie History

The 17 Cheesiest Lines In Movie History

Above is a scene from Star Crash, Italy’s homage to Star Wars. They dialed the cheese factor up to ten for this entire movie, but it’s especially clear in this scene. At one point, I’m pretty sure the emperor-to-be forgets his line and is looking over to the cue cards for a hint.

Since we are big fans of good storytelling, we couldn’t let something like this go by without looking for other movies that have produced hilarious, overly dramatic or just downright ridiculous lines. Here are just 16 others. We tried to stay clear of B-film schlock territory or the list would have easily broken 100.

Ever After (1998)

THE MOVIE: Ever After (1998)

THE LINE

Danielle: ”A bird may love a fish, signore, but where will they live?”

Note: For such a schlocky line, I have to admit, I still spent some time thinking about it.

X-Men (2000)

THE MOVIE: X-Men (2000)

THE LINE

Storm: ”You know what happens when a toad gets struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.”

Note: A big part of why this is an amazing line is the stone cold determination on Halle Berry’s face as she delivers it. I wonder how many takes it took to get that look.

A Cry in the Dark (1988)

THE MOVIE: A Cry in the Dark (1988)

THE LINE

Lindy: ”A dingo ate my baby!”

Speed (1994)

THE MOVIE: Speed (1994)

THE LINE

Jack Traven: “Yea, well I’m taller!”

Note: This is Keanu Reeves finest role that doesn’t involve fighting cybernetic demons or talking to Teddy Bears.

The Postman (1997)

THE MOVIE: The Postman (1997)

THE LINE:

Blind Woman: “You’re a godsend, a saviour.”
Postman: “No, I’m a postman.”

Notting Hill (1999)

THE MOVIE: Notting Hill (1999)

THE LINE

Anna Scott to William Thacker: “I’m just a girl standing in front of a boy asking him to love her.”

Con-Air (1997)

THE MOVIE: Con-Air (1997)

THE LINE

Cameron Poe: “Put the bunny in the box…”

Note: If a Bruckheimer movie with Nicolas Cage playing a band southern accent isn’t enough to make you see this film, then scenes like this should be.

Pearl Harbor (2001)

THE MOVIE: Pearl Harbor (2001)

THE LINE

Rafe: “You’re so beautiful it hurts.”
Evelyn: “It’s your nose that hurts.”
Rafe: “I think it’s my heart.”

Titanic (1997)

THE MOVIE: Titanic (1997)

THE LINE

Jack Dawson to Rose Bukater: “I’m the king of the world!”

Note: Obvious, sure but this line seems to have won the community choice award for modern movie cheese so we included it.

Battlefield Earth (2000)

THE MOVIE: Battlefield Earth (2000)

THE LINE

Chirk: “I am going to make you as happy as a baby Psychlo on a straight diet of kerbango.”

Note: Battlefield Earth was John Travolta’s homage to L. Ron Hubbard. Without Franchise Pictures and a Scientology bake sale it probably would never have been made and the world would have been a better place.

Dirty Dancing (1987)

THE MOVIE: Dirty Dancing (1987)

THE LINE

Johnny Castle about Fraces “Baby” Houseman: “Nobody puts Baby in the corner.”

Star Wars – Attack of the Clones (2002)

THE MOVIE: Star Wars – Attack of the Clones (2002)

THE LINE

Anakin to Padme: “From the moment I met you, all those years ago, not a day has gone by when I haven’t thought of you. And now that I’m with you again… I’m in agony. The closer I get to you, the worse it gets. The thought of not being with you—I can’t breathe. I’m haunted by the kiss that you should never have given me. My heart is beating, hoping that kiss will not become a scar. You are in my very soul, tormenting me… what can I do? I will do anything you ask.”

Batman and Robin (1997)

THE MOVIE: Batman and Robin (1997)

THE LINE

Mr Freeze: “Ice to see you”

Note: I could have closed my eyes and pointed anywhere in this script and found an equally ridiculous line but this one always seems to stand out.

Night of the Lepus (1972)

THE MOVIE: Night of the Lepus (1972)

THE LINE

“Attention! Attention! . . . There is a herd of killer rabbits headed this way and we desperately need your help!”

Note: I know I said we stayed away from B-movies but this is just a reminder to go watch the best film of William Claxton’s (Little House on the Prairie) career.

Glen or Glenda

THE MOVIE: Glen or Glenda (1953)

THE LINE

“Give this man satin undies, a dress, a sweater and a skirt or even a lounging outfit and he’s the happiest individual in the world. He can work better, play better and he can be more of a credit to his community and his government because he is happy.”

Mortal Kombat Annihilation (1997)

THE MOVIE: Mortal Kombat Annihilation (1997)

THE LINE

Kitana: “Mother! You’re alive…”
Sindel: “Too bad…YOU….will die!”

Note: They are starting to shoot a sequel to this movie, Mortal Kombat: Devastation starting this month…

We’ve missed dozens and dozens of great ones, what are your favorite bad movie lines?

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  • x00x

    A very satisfying collection of abysmally malodorous movie line cheese at its olfactory offensive overloading worst!

  • samanthalevin

    “It's been a long time since I've smelled beautiful”

    This is one of my favorite lines uttered by Vin Diesel as Riddick in the Chronicles of Riddick. He was not talking about himself, but was uttering sweet nothings into the ear of the evil character played by Thandy Newton. The line is so wrong coming out of Vin's sweaty mouth that it kinda puts the breaks on anything you were taking seriously about the movie up to that point.

  • x00x

    A very satisfying collection of abysmally malodorous movie line cheese at its olfactory offensive overloading worst!

  • samanthalevin

    “It's been a long time since I've smelled beautiful”

    This is one of my favorite lines uttered by Vin Diesel as Riddick in the Chronicles of Riddick. He was not talking about himself, but was uttering sweet nothings into the ear of the evil character played by Thandy Newton. The line is so wrong coming out of Vin's sweaty mouth that it kinda puts the breaks on anything you were taking seriously about the movie up to that point.

  • http://qazyfiction.com anna

    Absolutely giggle-worthy. :D

  • joachims

    My favourite is still this Ingrid Bergman's line from Casablanca:

    “Ohw, Rick… are those the bombs, or is it my heart beating?”

    LOL

  • joachims

    My favourite is still this Ingrid Bergman's line from Casablanca:

    “Ohw, Rick… are those the bombs, or is it my heart beating?”

    LOL

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